Another Day in Paradise

Its been a long time I have been regular on the blog, the reason being would already know that a certain panditji supposedly said something in Sanskrit. When translated to the world of IT and Software would mean “The Marital Status field in the database, the record type Single needs to be end dated on January 20th and a new record with the record type as Married needs to be added.” I sometimes bless the thoughtful creator of English language that he decided the marital status should go on as single and married as opposed to single, double, triple so on and so forth depending upon the number of wives and kids you have. If the later would have been followed the status of Osama Bin Laden would have been estimated to somewhere between one dozen to three dozens and lets not even talk about pregnant women and people getting divorced. They might have resorted to the use of Mathematical Limit Functions- Pregnant Women and their Husband, Status – Limit approaching to 3 (in case of the first child).

Sorry I digress, coming back to the harsh realities of the world. The bottom line is yours truly got married. All the plans to avoid the upcoming tragedy went in vain, as they say man proposes and god disposes, I finally got hitched. Going through what one would call a “The Big Fat Indian’s Wedding” obviously the big fat Indian being me. Its high time that I come up with a book titled “How Prats changed jobs, moved to Bangalore and got a Wife”, the story of how a boring seasoned blogger in late mid twenties found the master partner of his life. And I digress again.

Coming back to the point so many things happened I changed my job, I moved to Bangalore from Pune you can read my earlier tales of Bangalore here, here and here. There have been a lot of things going on in the world, like –

1- Hon’ble Supreme Court of India condones the Live-In couples– I have nothing much against the couples who live-in but this just re-affirms my belief that India is a funny country. I mean its not possible to keep a car for even a month before you finally commit to making it your own but it’s possible to have the woman/man of your life for a trial run, funny indeed.

2- Sahara India buys Pune IPL Team– There is no big deal in Sahara buying the Pune IPL team, if they hadn’t some other Tom, Dick and Harry Salman, Akshay or Katrina would have bought it. The big deal is about the amount they paid for Pune team a friggin 1,702 crores, to set a perspective if everyone in India combines and wants to outbid Sahara they will pay 17 rupees and 3 paise and to top that out if people of Pune thought of uniting and buying the Pune IPL team they would end up paying Rs. 5,158/- per person. I am sure this would be an excellent branding strategy resulting in conversations like this-

Person1: Pune IPL team was bought by Sahara.
Persone2: Sahara is it? What do they actually do?
Person1: Nothing much they sponsor the Indian Cricket Team

3- The Glory of Riots– There used to be a time when riots used to be the things of glory, the riots led to the headlines of newspapers, TV channels, talk shows. We actually got holidays from school because of riots in 1992. Now seems like the in-things are terrorist attacks, the political big wigs like Mamta Banerjee, Narendra Modi, K. Chandrashekar Rao have all failed to upheld the cause of riots. This time the riots have lost out to IPL with such a huge margin that despite a shoot at sight order and curfew in Hyderabad the riots don’t seem to get any space on page 1 in news papers and news channels.

Anyways now that so much of comedy is happening around the world, I won’t bore you to death. As the old adage goes, If you cannot avoid a rape least you can do is enjoy it. So enjoy your rape day. Adieu

Ps. Please Suggest an appropriate title for this post, I can’t think of any 😦

So I was tagged by D to take this one, I have done a similar tag where instead of lines I actually mentioned the dialogues from movies which I really loved. However the rules of this tag are as following-

On your blog, provide a link to the Great Bong’s page, May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss. The May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss contest
Then write down your top 10 Hindi movie lines or top 10 English movie lines (You can do both if you want. Only one set is required for the contest). If you cannot think of top 10, make it top 5. Cannot think of even 5? Make it top 3. No problem.
Only restriction: no two lines from same movie. This done to make it fair for other movies so that they dont get swamped by Gunda or Loha or Sholay. Tag five friends to do the same. Come over to the comment-space of this post and post your blog’s link so I can go and read it.
Remember: Before starting the tag, paste points 1 and 4 on your blog so that the rules are available to anyone who wishes to pick the tag up from your blog.

So here go my favorite lines from the hindi movies-

1- Maine tumhe kitni baar samjhaya nazdeeki fayda dekhne se pehle door ka nuksaan dekho. – Sarkaar
2- Ek paon past mein, ek paon future mein. Isiliye to hum aaj pe moot rahe hain- Rang De Basanti
3- Maine kaha tha na yeh duniya bohat chotti hai..aur yeh zindagi bohat lambi- Hum Tum
4- Aaj bhi main pheke hue paise nahi uuthaa- Deewar
5- Zindaga aur maut uparwale ke hath hai jahapana, jise na aap badalsakte hai na mein. hum sab to rangmanch ki katputlia hai, jiski door uparwale ke haath bandhi hai, kab kaun kaise uthega yeh koi nahi janta.- Anand
6- Apni zindagi toh hum jee chuke chunni babu,ab toh bas dhadkano ka lihaz karte hain,kya kahe un duniya walo ko jo aakhiri saas par bhi aitraaz karte hain!-Devdas
7- Perfection ko improve karma waise bhi bahut mushkil hai- DCH
8- Na shabd sunai nahi deta mujhe – Guru
9- Tumhara naam kya hai Basanti- Sholay
10- Kya khalu aapka Ishq, Ishq. Humara Ishq sex- Ishqiya

Now the favorite lines from english movies-

1- I believe…whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you… …stranger.- The Dark Knight
2- The funny thing is, on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.- The Shawshank Redemption
3- “For June who loved this garden from Joseph who always sat beside her.” Some people do spend their whole lives together.- Notting Hill
4- Son, your ego’s writing checks that your body can’t cash.- Top Gun
5- Isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more? – Before Sunrise
6- It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking: How did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it, no matter what. How did he know that? – The Pursuit of Happyness
7- Some people can never believe in themselves, until someone believes in them- Good Will Hunting
8- Vanity, definitely my favorite sin. – Devil’s Advocate
9- The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms – greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge – has marked the upward surge of mankind, and greed – you mark my words – will not only save Teldar Paper but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you. – Wall Street
10-With great power comes great responsibility- Spiderman

So here are few of my favorite quotes. Now comes the part of tagging people, if you are reading this consider yourself tagged 😉

So finally I have moved to Bangalore, and as I already did mentioned here that we are not in best possible terms with each other. Still intrepid self of yours truly ventured into the enemy territory to wage the war earn a humble living. The stay here has been so far so good, despite efforts of Bangalore to scare me with incessant traffic and horrendous commute times.
I have been more than eager to learn the BANGy ways of living from the wifee and SIL who claim to be the hardcore Bangloreans by heart, and here are my top 5 lessons I have learnt in Bangalore-

1- It takes 45 minutes of discussion to decide where we would be having the evening coffee, and the options sound like the Mochas, and Bochas.
2- Once you have decided the place it takes another hour of brainstorming and discussion to decide what would be the appropriate route to go.
3- If you go from place A to place B by route 1 then it’s a punishable offence to return by the same route, if unaware then an alternative route would be discovered for the love of the holy god.
4- No matter where you live in the city they would change your office to a place so that you need more than 2 hours to commute one way. Yes I learned this the hard way, after being shunted between three offices all equally painful to commute.
5- Air conditioner is an impulse buy product, because if you plan and buy the temperature just drops down to post-pone your purchase for a couple of days resulting the decision to be delayed till sine-die.

So I am finally here, the Mecca of Indian IT, Silicon Valley of India (though they call it so but silicon implants don’t seem to be too common here) trying to settle down. Trying to find a house to live in, incidentally I happened to enquire the rent for a 2 BHK flat here and was adequately informed Rs. 70,000/-. I don’t know why but on my asking with utmost decency “for the entire year?” they let their pit-bull loose to chase me out of the premises. I think the people here are not very used to decency I guess, will try and be abusive from the next time, should work what say people?

Disclaimer: The post is meant to present a satirical view and take a jibe, and this disclaimer is the request for the people who disagree with above not to kill me.